Thursday, 4 August 2011

Pedestrian Chicken

Whilst running tonight I devised a new and exciting game, it’s called ‘pedestrian chicken,’ and, even if I do say so myself, it’s awesome. Basically, if you see two people walking on your path/ track, you keep running in a straight line towards them. Eventually, either you will break and run on the road or one of the walkers will move behind their mate, giving you room to pass. I played this several times on my run tonight. I was inspired by an obese couple who were walking hand in hand along a narrow path- they saw me coming, they even exchanged a glance which screamed ‘there’s a runner coming towards us (sub-text- what the Heck is she wearing? Her arse looks awful in those pants).’ Yet they still didn’t move. I was forced onto the road where I was nearly crushed by a passing tractor – okay, perhaps crushed is the wrong word… it was travelling really slowly…and it was about half a mile away…but still. It could have been dangerous- hence my new game. Feel free to play it. We should make a league table of the rudest places in the world- where the pedestrians are least likely to move.
            I ran a ‘fast’ four miles tonight. Quite honestly, my pace wasn’t much faster than usual since I am a stoic, steadfast 10 minute mile kind of girl. As well as pedestrian chicken- which is sure to catch on- I added an extra couple of letters to my runner’s alphabet.

‘I love running’ A-Z
‘I hate running and wish that I had never signed up for this madness’ A-Z
G:  Games. If you have free head space for an hour each day what should you do? You should play games! Play runners ABC, pedestrian chicken- Hell, play ‘I went to the shop and I bought…’ but play something otherwise you might just go insane!
G: Goo. Yep, that’s it’s actual name. Manufacturers create a gloopy, foul and nasty tasting product then charge you through the nose for it. Apparently it enhances your performance- all it does to me is enhance my nausea at around mile 8!

1 comment:

  1. Very amusing blog you've got going on here Kelly. I almost joined you in the incontinence stakes when you told the tale of the wet patch - talk about PMSL! Ahhh the joy of knowing I'm not the only red faced, sweat dripping, carpet hugging lady jogger out there!