E is for… EMERGENCY!

W is for... What the????? as well as...WEIGHT GAIN
After reading lots of wonderful BLOGS last night, in which people were saying how running had helped them shift those extra pounds, I thought I’d get on the scales so I could share the magic with you.

            As I pulled them from under the bed and dusted them down (don’t judge me, I don’t have time to clean… I’m a runner) I felt confident. I expected to have lost at least a stone, maybe even two… oh yes… I was already feeling smug. Then I stepped on the scales…then I stepped off and adjusted them (because they clearly weren’t working.) I moved them to a different part of the room, I even moved them to a completely different room but they REFUSED to behave. Dear readers- after months of sweating, swearing and excruciating pain I have managed to gain – HALF A STONE! HALF A F@~*£!G STONE!

            I just cannot understand it. My ipod thingy keeps telling me that I have burned hundreds of calories, so how have I gained weight? It can’t be the McDonalds- they are organic now- it says so on the new advert. Everyone knows that flumps are the foodstuff of the Gods- so they can’t be to blame.

            I think the scales might be broken. I’ll pop down and buy some more, then call in at KFC on the way home for a little pre-run treat- well, it is lunch time after all.